Unashamed Truths of a Middle Class Twenty Something

I'm figuring it out as I go.

I Am Petrified of Dating


For the first time in I don’t even know how many years, I am single. Not just single because I have been single quite a bit in the past, but I would be seeing someone or someones somewhat steadily. Right now, I am completely unattached romantically to any man. Quite honestly, it is an absolutely fantastic feeling. I am not planning my life around anything or anyone. I don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings or making sure their life is in order. I just have to worry about me and what I want and need.

Now that I am single dating is a thing. Dating is something I’m pretty familiar with at this point. I’ve done quite a bit of it. Even though I’ve done it many times throughout the years, I am still scared.

Dating is terrifying. In today’s era, I think everyone is a little scared of dating. What even is dating now? Are we hanging out? Dating? Hooking up? Exclusive? Committed? Talking? Relationship? Casual? My new favorite Netflix and Chill? Huh…? The terms are changing so rapidly I don’t even know what to call it anymore. We are now in this era of let’s put in as little possible effort to get laid. I’m not saying every guy is doing that, but there is now slang for it. Netflix and Chill… If you don’t know what that is it is: hang out at someone’s place, watch Netflix, and have sex. Oh and from what I’ve gathered, Netflix is optional. This isn’t me. This “dating” style is so incredibly foreign to me, and mostly goes against everything I’m capable of doing.

So casual sex… Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, good joke. I don’t do casual sex. I hardly do sex at all. If you’ve been keeping up, you know about my past, so this can’t come as a huge surprise. Luckily my best friend was looking out for me and my popculturally-stunted self. Here’s how I found out about Netflix and Chill:
Kelsey: So if someone asks you to Netflix and Chill, just say no.
Me: Why? What is it?
Kelsey: Just say “no!”
Me: But why???
Kelsey: It’s slang for sex, RaeAnna!!!
Me: What has this generation come to? I love Netflix, and I love to chill. Why does that mean sex? Who would ruin two separately fantastic things?!?
Kelsey: Well I wanted you to know because I know you’d say “sure!” and then you’d have a heart attack when a dick shows up unbeknownst to you invitedly so.

I’ve never been one to subscribe to gender stereotypes or traditional practices, but I’m a fan of dating. You know the old school dating. I don’t need a guy to ask me out, plan, or pay, but I want to go out. I want to do something, preferably something more original than dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie is preferable to “Netflix and Chill.” I don’t want to just go over to a guy’s place and watch a movie. I want some effort. Make me a priority.

I have trust issues. With all people, but especially men. I know, you’re astonished. I also have a severe fear of being alone with men or man. Yet again, shocker. I feel like these are important dating factors…


Author: Midwestern Twenty Something

RaeAnna is a wanderer on a mission; though, she's not always sure what that mission is. Taking on adulthood with a sense of humor, a book, and her dog, she's ready to conquer the world. Unafraid to celebrate her faults or photograph her tumbles, she aims to help people see life as an ever-rolling, lopsided wheel instead of the perfectly manicured and Instagrammably stationary square we wish it were.

3 thoughts on “I Am Petrified of Dating

  1. Let me be judgemental!
    You are right!


  2. I once went on a date that lasted literally less than 2 minutes. To say she wasn’t into me would be a drastic understatement.


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